Maybe it will make me stronger...

'Strength' can be defined in many ways.... but in the end each person has their own perception of what it means to get strong... Who is stronger - a person who can 'bench' 200 lbs w/o a problem or a child who at the age of four has had two courses of chemotherapy.... while each is a definition of strenght... makes me wonder which one really matters?

To me personally being strong means being able to endure what life has decide to put in my path... I want to be emotionally and mentally strong more than physically.... One can achieve anything in life with a STRONG will.... but often it is hard to distinguish between strength and weakness.... lets say a woman is trapped in abusive relationship for the sake of her children... Is she a strong person for enduring years of abuse in a hope of happier times for her children? or is she so weak that she does not think that she is able to fight past the life she is stuck in... I honestly don't know the answer... to an outsider it is easy to say that she is weak to stay in that relationship but what if it took all her strength to stay there because she knew that it was the best thing for her children...

What about a father who has to choose between the well being of his unborn child and his wife...or a parent who has to choose between the lives of two children.... I think it takes unaccountable amount of strenght to make that decision and then have to live with it forever...or a child who has lost a parent and needs to grow up feeling the void or a parent who has lost a child... how do you measure their strenght? All those situations, I cannot even imagine being faced with... will I have the strenght to make the best decision? I have always considered myself to be a strong woman but just thinking about all the times my strenght could be tested makes me feel weak... I am sure when and if I have to face any such situation... I will find a way to find the strenght that I need... but what if I fail?

It's said that it takes a stronger person to forgive.... So in that instance I am very weak... I don't hold grudges but I choose to forget rather than forgive... but maybe I can start working on that and pray that I may never have to face anything that requires more strength than I can handle...