Separation Anxiety....

So most infants go through separation anxiety somewhere between 6-12 months... they usually grow out of it after a year ... so I am wondering if parents 'eventually' grow out of it too?

I never considered myself as the 'attachment' parenting type... I never 'wore' my baby, we never co-slept... actually I was pretty determined to teach Michelle to sleep on her early and moved her to her crib in a room down the hallway at 3 weeks old.  It seems insane but it's worked out great for us.  I am able to put her down on the floor to play and walk away as she complains.  I have often thought that there was something wrong with me that I wasn't more 'attached' to her.

The reason I bring all this up is because its my birthday on Friday (oh how fast time passes) .... and Sibi and I have been talking about what we can do to celebrate.  Last night, we decided that we'll just stay in, order out, pick up a movie and relax... As I type this, I realize how 'old' I sound... but I am completely fine with that! I share my birthday with a neighbor (same date & year) and she sent me an email asking we were interested in going out to get dinner after 8 pm... and while I'd like that - I humbly declined since Michelle would be a mess ... ofcourse she couldn't understand why I didn't get get a babysitter.  Hmm... what a novel idea - have someone else watch her while we get a nice, peaceful meal in.  I mean, she goes to daycare 5 days a wk...so why not?

For some reason, this just doesn't sit well with me... I can't imagine getting a babysitter... I am not sure why.  Maybe it's because I want to spend as much time as I can with her.... since we are separated mostly during the week... maybe I want to celebrate my birthday with her... she does define part of my identity now... maybe I don't think its fair that we go out and celebrate w/o her...feels like we are abandoning her.

We have taken Michelle out with us everywhere we went.  If it wasn't a child friendly place, then we didn't go.  She's great at restaurants and loves being out... we are blessed with a relatively low-key baby. 

I guess as first time parents - we don't have the heart to leave her with anyone ...outside of requirements (i.e. I need to work) and probably won't ever take a vacation w/o her .... or at least, as of right now...it doesn't seem like we will...

Maybe we will eventually 'grow' out of this separation anxiety in time ...or maybe we'll be forced to when she wants to go away on a class trip, sleepover with friend... etc... but I am sure, the thought will bring as much anxiety to me then , as it is now...